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11 Reasons Why Salsa is Too Dangerous

Are you a Salsa dancer? Do you know the hidden dangers of this seemingly innocuous activity? Take it from me, Salsa is a dangerous thing to be getting mixed up with and it’s best avoided. There are so many risks and hazards that may challenge even the strongest of us. Besides, you’re probably comfortable living your routine life, safe in the knowledge that nothing too exciting will come along. Best keep it that way, don’t you think? And for that reason, salsa is best avoided.  Here are 10 reasons why salsa is just too dangerous.

Don’t say we didn’t warn you….

1. You’ll have to sacrifice those couch-potato ways. Sorry. You’ll soon notice that you look a too fit and toned for your liking. You’ll also have a nasty new burst of energy and will get ‘itchy feet’ if you try to spend a night in front of the telly.

2. Your mind will become utterly polluted with salsa turn patterns, colourful daydreams of distant lands across the ocean, tropical rhythmic music and also conjugations of Spanish verbs…

3. Sleep will no longer be a pleasure. Instead it will become ‘a waste of time’ and something you do reluctantly in small doses to top up your energy levels and to keep going until the next dancing session.

4.You’ll no longer keep your monolingual ways. Whether it’s just a snatch of lyrics from a popular song or a big chunk of language, and as much as your might resist you will begin to speak Spanish. Worst still you may end up specializing in hard-to-understand accents such as cubano, colombiano or puertorriqueno…And who would want that?

5. Not one pair of shoes will be safe from the ‘spin test’. Everything you buy or wear will be subjected to tests on spin, turnability, slip and the all important can-you-see-my-pants-when-i-spin test. Poor unfortunate footwear.

6. Your bank statements will adopt the appearance of a jetsetter who is really in love with life. Items like awesome dance holiday to Havana’, ‘stunning dance shoes and ‘superb Salsa weekender’ will soon clutter the list, leaving little space for mediocre and everyday items.

happy salsa dancer7. Your partner will suspect that you are having a secret affair when you spend all of your waking hours smiling to yourself, humming and staying out having fun til all hours. Especially when you come home with that healthy rosy glow and traces of sweat on your brow.

8. You’ll have friends coming out of your ears. Luckily I don’t mean literally. But too many friends can be suffocating. Do you really want to be so popular? Do you really want so many great invitations to awesome parties and events? Do you need yet another dance with a fabulous dancer? No.  I thought you wouldn’t like the idea of that either.

9. People will think you have become a secret agent. Or something. Seriously. You’re bound to get carried away with all of that dancing and never want to go home. Plus no-one will really understand what you are talking about and they will simply decide that you must be living a secret double life.

10. Cupid might begin to stalk you. He’s a cheeky little chappy when it comes to the salsa scene and he may take aim at you a few times. Best to brush up on your gentle knockbacks beforehand to ensure that you can handle the hundreds of hunks or babes that will come flocking towards you. Who needs a little salsa charisma? Not me.

11. Salsa is highly addictive. You will want more. And more. And more. Please seek help if things get this bad. There is no need to succumb to positive and healthy pastimes such as these.

Every year, millions of people around the globe take part in the dangerous practice of ‘salsa dancing’. Only the brave and bold come out the other side unscathed. Are you one of them? Can you resist the dangers of salsa?…..

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Comment COMMENT

Have you encountered the nasty dangers of salsa? What do you think is the most dangerous aspect of Salsa dancing? Share it all in the comments below.

Image: Shawn Rossi,  Ataraxis

10 Comments on 11 Reasons Why Salsa is Too Dangerous

  1. The ‘spin test’ cracked me up. That’s so true!

  2. Your body start making unspected moves when you are walking and that salsa song is banging into your head and all you eish is to be dancing salsa. ✌Vive la Salsa!

  3. This is stupid! I know it is ‘tongue-in-cheek but disrespectful to many hispanics, myself included to whom salsa dancing is a way of life not just activity to engage in. Real salseros/salseras do not exhibit any of your aforementioned behaviors. You have insulted the entire Spanish-speaking community. Articles like these do more to isolate than unify!

    • I’m sorry that you feel this article is disrespectful. That certainly wasn’t my intention. If you’ve read any of the other articles on the website (or know me) you’ll understand that I have the utmost respect for the entire hispanic culture and most definitely do not consider salsa dancing to be a mere activity. As you mentioned, it is a tongue in cheek article for the mainly British salsa-dancing community.
      I’d be interested to know what you consider a ‘real salsero or salsera’. Could you share your thoughts?

  4. David Sander // January 8, 2015 at 6:41 pm // Reply

    I understand the differences between cultural Latin versions of Salsa dance and the studio version often taught in America. As a kind of street dancing, I cautiously took up Salsa after hearing at my first lesson there was no right or wrong way to dance Salsa! That and despite being a shy person I’ve done a few Salsa demonstrations in front of hundreds of people. It feels wonderful when a Colombian Latin tells you that you are a good dancer! Ten years ago I would have thought I had a better chance of landing on the Moon than of being a great dancer!
    You didn’t mention the 47% reduction in dementia in people who dance? 🙂

    • I’m so pleased to hear that Salsa has mad such a huge difference to you life. Me too! It’s no mean feat to get up and dance in front of hundreds of people, so well done you!! You’re right- I should have mentioned the dementia bit too 🙂

  5. Salsa is a popular form of social dance that originated in New York with strong influences from Latin America, particularly Colombia, Cuba and Puerto Rico. For the new dancer wanting to learn to dance for the first time, Salsa is a great choice. The most popular of the partner dances, it is very welcoming to beginning dancers with plenty of resources available as well.

  6. Hey! You shared salsa dancing disadvantages. But let me share you regards Salsa dance positively because i adore Salsa dance. Why? Salsa
    makes you feel healthy because you move your body all the time. With salsa, the tempo is faster than most other forms of dance music.
    This is the my point of view on Salsa dancing.

  7. Reason 12
    You will start tip toing everywhere

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